Who should present Moonwalking?

I think this speaks for itself...

OK, I'll add a little something. No, a big something. A big thank you to the 28 people who took the time to vote on this, my latest poll.  

If Moonwalking became a TV documentary, who should present my baby?

November's poll is officially Moonwalking's most popular. Ever. It makes the poll about favourite blog topics seem inconsequential. It dwarfs the importance of how many people you think will have visited the blog by the end of the year. And the one about everyone's favourite nocturnal animal, pah! Nearly 30 people voted - and voted in a way I really didn't expect.

Stephen Fry's popularity is finally waning. With just three votes, Stephen is your second choice to present Moonwalking, The Series. Stephen should be worried. This is pretty conclusive. Poor Stephen - feel a bit sorry for him now.

My favourite, Paul Merton, did even worse with just two votes. Think of the humour that man could bring to the show! And the weight fluctuations; like the moon herself, his size could wax and wane as the series develops. But no. Sorry, Paul. The world has spoken.

Derren Brown or Professor Brian Cox? Both fine presenters. Both articulate, interesting, engaging men. Not good enough for Moonwalking it would seem. Just one vote each. Dear oh dear, chaps. Shocking.

So who should present the show that doesn't exist?

Me. Little old me. Oh.

It's very kind of you to say so. And of course I'm joking about all those fine fellows above, who I'm sure would throw themselves into the lunacy of moonwalking with gusto. Can you really imagine me presenting a documentary series about moonwalking? Seeing me run for cover when a heron flies from the trees in the Lost Gardens of Heligan. See me knee deep in...something on the wild tors of Dartmoor. See me embracing a Moon Goddess and then getting a bit tongue-tied. I'd make a complete fool of myself! Oh, I see what you mean now.

It'd be nice, really nice. And the idea has been mentioned to me and of course I said I'd be happy to give anything a go (except bog-snorkelling and fighting a brown bear). But the celebrity presenter is far more likely.

But I'll send this on to the lady who mentioned the idea and explain that my friends have spoken. And that they'll boycott Moonwalking if they don't get to see me frightened by a heron. I'll let you know how it goes... 

Full Moon vs New Moon

The moon is in the news a lot at the moment. Lots of things are happening with her and to her. There's that whole water-being-found thing (which means we can soon go and use the moon as a dumping ground for stuff while we shoot off for manned missions to Mars, says a slightly-paraphrased Nasa). There's that film, New Moon, with the tall British fella. And there's that young chap walking around Britain by the light of the full moon. I think we've heard enough recently about the first and last, so let's try New Moon.

I haven't read the Twilight series of books by Stephenie Meyer. So I'm going to write a short review of the books/films from what I've gleaned by walking around London and seeing posters.

Twilight is a series of books by Stephenie Meyer (which we established earlier). Each book contains a plot. And each plot appears to concern something to do with night and zombies and horror. New Moon appears to focus quite heavily on the moon - though, oddly, it uses a full moon in its advertising (be difficult to use a new moon, I guess, as we can't see it). Here we should distinguish between my knowledge of the book and my knowledge of the film. The book I haven't read. The film - I haven't seen. But the film, I guess, is out now (as books rarely get this level of press attention.)

So the film... The big British fella with the square jaw is the hero (or nemesis). Something bad happens, at night, possibly around new moon (or full moon). Big British fella leaps into action (or doesn't) and fights the evil (or possibly not evil) things with the help of a couple of (or more) glamorous assistants. I'm imagining Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Harry Potter.

There are four books in the trilogy+1. New Moon is the second. Which means the plot isn't concluded in this film because otherwise the next two, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn (oh yeah, I've done my research), would be rubbish.

And that pretty much sums it up. There might be a bit more to it (or less). If this review has tempted you, please do read the books and let me know how accurate I was.

Oh and here's what I imagine Breaking Dawn will be like, from what I've read in the article which called the last book in the trilogy+1 "Breaking Dawn"...

A girl, called Dawn, is the happiest girl in the world. Every day she's alive, people curse her for being so happy. "There goes Happy Dawn," people curse, every day. Then, one night, another girl comes into town (on full moon). She breaks Dawn.

Moon Man - In Print

In the next week or so, my first magazine feature will be out in shops. Probably not a shop near you as the feature was commissioned by the editor at Cornwall Today, a lovely lady called Kirstie. But it will be in shops. My writing, in shops. To be bought. I'm very excited.

You may have guessed, the feature focuses on moonwalking - that hobby some of us have where we walk around interesting places by the light of the full moon. And the article all came about through a cheeky Twitter message to @Cornwall_Today. It went something like - "Hi, I'm a moonwalker. Discovering Britain by full moon. Cornwall features. DM me if you'd like to chat". @Cornwall_Today replied, to my great surprise. Something like - "Yes. OK."

We exchanged emails and phone calls and I got the commission for a couple-of-pages feature in the December issue of what is a very fine, very well-produced, beautifully-designed monthly magazine about the best things in Cornwall. Because the subject has such enormous scope, I went a little over the word count. And not a word - as far as I could tell when I visited Kirstie last month - has been cut. Which very rarely happens in the cut-throat, cut-word world of magazine publishing.

Of course I can't reproduce the article here (because I'd get a HUGE slap). But I can certainly encourage you to read it if you live in or pass through the beautiful county of Cornwall. I've written about how tranquil a bit on moonlit strolling can be - especially with friends, especially near the sea. And I've encouraged those who plan to get dangerously drunk this New Year's Eve to look in the sky and go for a stroll before they lose control of their bladders, because they'll see a full moon dangling above them like a bauble. But not just any full moon. The International Year of Astronomy's 13th full moon.

Blue moon.

You know you want to...

Moon Man - On Air

Tonight, I had my first radio interview. I'd like to say it was my first ever media interview. But that would be a lie. (If you click here, you can see some early linguistic talent, like "I'd had friends who'd come over and done the exchange", from an interview I gave in 2005 about studying in California.) Tonight's momentous event focused on moonwalking - the hobby, the attraction and the travels.

OK, I must point out that the interview was for Source FM. What, you haven't heard of Source? It's Falmouth's local radio station. And lots of good friends and old tutors and editors and writers and folk present shows. It's known for its quirky, whimsical approach to radio. And how whimsical to talk about moonwalking after a piece on George Clooney and a pier.

Though it did get a bit heavy with talk of charity. And dogging.

How do you prepare for a radio interview? I spent the afternoon meeting a lovely moon poet called Penelope (Penny) who bought me tea in the Royal Festival Hall on the South Bank. Though that meet nearly didn't happen when I hopped in the Hall's lift with the maintenance guy and tried to descend into the workings of the building. Thankfully, he stopped me before I got lost. And before I broke anything.

I got home a little before I was due on air (sorry, that's technical media talk for...on air) and researched, read up on moon facts, practised JFK's moon speech, cleared my airways. No, of course I didn't. We all know how useless I am at preparation. I worried about tripping over long words like "moon", or accidentally telling people about my bowels or something. Thankfully, that didn't happen. But I did suggest I'd killed a man by pushing him over a cliff by full moon ("because it's easier to see the edge by full moon" - Lord).

The presenter, Tina, spoke to me after the show and said I did "great". Which, to be completely honest, came as a big surprise. Because I also hinted that Pendennis Point in Falmouth is a good place to watch people in cars having sex. And I may have compared myself to George Clooney. God, thinking back, "great" is completely the wrong word.

Tina tells me she may be able to email me the interview. If she does, don't worry, I will burn it for you. Bring on my first TV appearance!

Moon Man

Today I'm writing my chapter breakdown for "Moonwalking". I know, revealing secrets here. Well, not really. To pitch a book to a publisher I need a breakdown of my adventures: one page as a substitute for a chapter. It's not easy. So much has happened this year; so many people, so many coincidences, so much out-of-the-ordinary adventure. And they want me to tell it in 14 pages.

One thing that jumps out during this process is the development of my story. I've started to realise just how life-changing moonwalking has been - how rewarding throwing myself into this nocturnal way of living has proved. I don't want to sound like a luvvie, darling, but a few quests, a bit of oomph, a big heap of fear and a healthy dose of new people and new pursuits has turned me from a boring corner-dwelling party attendee to a next-to-people-"you should meet this man, he's mad"-storyteller.

I've gone from Rob, that single bloke who keeps going on about his ex- and how he'd like to do something different with his life, to Moon Man. That weirdo.

And it's Moon Man I wanted to introduce here. It's he who I've found this year. From my first trip to the Royal Observatory, to last week's secret-beach sortie, Moon Man has become me (or I have become Moon Man). Which is a bit odd - in a warm, avuncular sort of way. "Ah, you must be Moon Man." "Ladies, this is Moon Man." "So we're in the presence of Moon Man, eh!"

"Ah, no, it's Rob actually-- I mean, yes, Moon Man...Moon Man Self-Pierson. My parents thought it'd be a laugh. Like Neville Neville."

So I've become Moon Man. Or, occasionally, Moonwalker. Though I think I prefer Moon Man as it means I don't have to try and walk backwards like MJ and grab my crotch and shriek. Sometimes I do that anyway. Usually when I retreat to the corner.